Among the Big 5 personality traits, the one that appears to get the most inadvertent attention would be Extroversion. The reason is because people who are high on this trait exhibit many desirable behaviors. They are fun, action-oriented, assertive, cheerful, talkative and engaging. Who wouldn't want to be around them?
Extroverted people are typically very good group leaders and managers. Because of this trait, they have a knack for creating good rapport and morale within their teams. They'll lead their teams in a way that will win the hearts of the people because of they can represent everyone's best interest, or at least appear to. To everyone around them, people high in extroversion will appear as very optimistic about everything. A trait that goes with extroverted people is that they enjoy being the center of attention. We might ask, is it because the need for attention that they appear so warm and friendly? Or is that they really are so fun and cheerful, that the attention they gain is a huge plus that they also enjoy? In thinking deeper and unpacking these questions leads to 2 two results generally.
If the positive behaviors are driven by the need for attention, then it is reasonable that while on the surface they appear cheerful, inside, they are unhappy because the facade is insincere. On the other hand, if the behavior is sincere and the attention is a positive by-product, than it is reasonable that they would be experiencing true happiness. Why is that you might ask.
When we set a goal and try to achieve it, we try to carve out a path to that goal. However, because the goal is the focus, typically the path isn't thoroughly thought out. If someone is seeking attention, they will employ any method they have at their disposal, even if they don't enjoy it. We see this behavior in children. A young child when seeking attention will try to do it nicely first, but then they'll do something they don't really want to do like breaking a rule because that's the only way they can get the attention of their parents. Many young men who have killed people have done so not because they enjoy it, but because they'd rather do something bad and be notorious rather than be nice and be unknown.
When the goal is seen as a positive by-product, less focus is on that goal and more focus gets set on the path. Take famous author J.K Rowling, she lived out of the truck, but enjoyed writing. She didn't write with the goal of making a lot of money, she wrote for the love of writing the stories she created, and we all know how successful the Harry Potter series has become and how much she has benefited from all that love and hard work.
We also see this in celebrities. When attention isn't necessarily the main goal, we see genuinely happier people. Think Oprah Winfrey and Tom Hanks. When attention is the main goal, we have people who appear extremely happy and fun and warm, but inside they're quite sad and alone and suffer in silence like one of my most favorites actors, the late and great Robins Williams.
With Extroversion also comes Introversion.
There is a misconception of Introverted people. That they are weird and withdrawn like a secluded hermit. They don't like people and always want to be alone. This misconception is present because Introverts are seen as synonymous with Shyness.
In their book, The Development of Shyness and Social Withdrawal, authors Schmidt and Buss writes it like this. "Sociability refers to the motive, strong or weak, of wanting to be with others, whereas shyness refers to behavior when with others, inhibited or uninhibited, as well as feelings of tension and discomfort." The idea is that while Introverts need good reasons to spend time with a group of people, Shy people are actually afraid of the group setting.
Introverts enjoy spending time with people close to them but also enjoy their alone time. Being alone doesn't bother the Introvert because they'll spend that time working on their interests and hobbies and are quite satisfied in doing so. Because of this, they show a greater amount of self-awareness because they do an incredible amount of observing and processing of things around them, and most of their thoughts are inward. However, they can be perceived as the loner and less likely people will reach out to them. Being higher on this scale makes one appear more and more reclusive, especially in group settings where long periods of social events drain their energy and focus.
Of course, everyone is a mixed bag of all 5 traits, but one is typically more dominant in most cases. Extroverted people are great at winning people over and gaining people's loyalty and admiration. However, it would be prudent to reflect on whether the extroversion behavior we would exhibit would be sincere or are they just a means to an end? They both have very different outcomes
For Introverted people, they need to balance their lone-wolf mentality with compromises in learning to tolerate more extroverted activities if they want to be included in more events. Especially with the people they care about.
Interestingly, Extroversion and Introversion share a scale with one another, but depending on which side one leans more too, the less they understand people on the other end. It's important for both types to take the time to understand each other.
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